www.ambiente.us   OCTOBER |OCTUBRE 2010

Tips for Being Friends with a Fellow Lesbian
I've been around the block so you don't have to
by Angela von Aschwege

1.  Don’t have sex with her
It is possible you can stay friends with her after a one night stand, but are you willing to
risk your friendship to find out the odds?  A lifetime of friendship is worth more than a
couple hours of fun.  Or 45 seconds, in my case.

2.   Don’t date their exes        
Your friend dates hot women.  Of course she does, she has excellent tastes!  But
unless she has an unbelievably amazing relationship with her ex, don’t date the ex,
unless you think you might enjoy having a bitter passive-aggressive friend.

3.    Don’t talk s%*&
You are in a fight with your friend, and you want to complain to whoever crosses your
path.  Venting feels so good, but it’s short-lived.  You are risking your friendship if you
make an overly dramatic public spectacle out of your problem.  Find one person you
can express your feelings to, if you know he/she can take it without telling others.  Or
better yet, address the problem and talk to your friend directly.  

4.    Don’t lend money
Or your friendship will suffer a long, painful death.  If you absolutely feel the need
to help her financially, do so without a real expectation of being paid back soon, or ever.   Owing someone
money or being owed money adds a whole new unpleasant dimension to any relationship.

5.    Don’t treat her like your girlfriend
Treat your girlfriend like your girlfriend and your friends like friends.  When I’m single I tend to attack one lucky
person with affection, similar to what I would do with a girlfriend.  Don’t do it!  It’s wrong on so many levels, and
you’ll end up annoying and overwhelming her, maybe even leading her on.

6.    She is not your therapist
Friends are a wonderful source of advice and knowledge.  However, if you only come to her when you have
problems, write her check, because that’s really not her job.  If you always complain and never have anything
pleasant to say, she will soon find it hard not to cringe when the chat bubble appears on the computer.  

7.     Don’t ditch her for your girlfriend
It’s hard to divide up your free time between friends and your girlfriend.  But if you don’t make the extra effort in
keeping your friend when you find a girlfriend, she’ll be less likely to be there for you when your girlfriend dumps
your ass.   

8.        Don’t be jealous of her girlfriend
She found a girlfriend, be happy for her!  It’s new and exciting and she’s going to start spending more time with
her than you, especially at first.  She’s not trying to be mean; that’s how it works, suck it up and deal with it!    
Once she is able to balance her life with her girlfriend, and her life with you, she will do so.  Be patient and
understanding but be upfront if you feel like you are being completely neglected.

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