www.ambiente.us OCTOBER / OCTUBRE 2008
ELLIOT TORRES: Architecture of a Solipsistic Mind
by Herb Sosa
so•lip•sism: ˈsō-ləp-ˌsi-zəm,
noun Latin solus alone + ipse self
1874 : a theory holding that the self can know nothing but its own modifications and that the
self is the only existent thing; also : extreme egocentrism
— so•lip•sist \ˈsō-ləp-sist, noun
— so•lip•sis•tic \ˌsō-ləp-ˈsis-tik, adjective
— so•lip•sis•ti•cal•ly \-ti-k(ə-)lē\ adverb
Born and raised in
Waukegan, Illinois, Elliot
moved to New York City
alone at the age of 17 in
May of 1994. While
attending Pace
University in 1998 he
graduated with a BA in
Communications, which
he developed into a
career in the fashion,
music, television, film,
video game and
magazine industries.
After some time working
as an entertainment
journalist, Torres debuted
his collection of poetry,
Five Years Of Solitary in
2002, which was released
to an enthusiastic
response. It chronicled
his experiences in New
York City as a young, gay
Puerto Rican man from
the age of 17-22.
His next book - Undaunted: A Poetic Journey - is his account of the second phase of his life in New York City,
taking his readers on a journey through his emotional and professional growth from 22 to 27.
His experiences have taken him throughout the U.S., the Caribbean, Mexico,
South America and Europe. Elliot has appeared in various publications such as
QV, XY, Next, Clik the French publication, Baby Boy magazine and Ambiente.
He has performed his poetry and conducted workshops at many colleges and
universities including Brown University, Wheaton College, University of Illinois
Urbana-Champaign and NYU.
Elliot’s third book of poetry, Architecture of a Solipsistic Mind was released Tuesday September 30, 2008 and
continues Torres’ journey at this point in his life, ages 27-31.
Through his writings in Architecture of a Solipsistic Mind, Torres deals with, "my past, face my demons, live in
the moment and expose my reality about being a gay man in New York City."
Elliot and his work has been featured in Ambiente in the past, and today
I revisit with him and find out where he is at in his life today.
HS: What made you want to write a book again? What was left to be said/shared?
ET: When I finished writing Undaunted, I knew there would be a third book and almost felt that I needed to in
order to have a sense of closure for myself. I am already focused on other projects. I’m not saying there will
never be another poetry book because there will but I have been feeling confined by the art form and am ready
to explore and expand on my talent. I handed over my late-teens, 20s and the beginning of my 30s on a plate
for readers to devour. It’s time to take the plate away and hand over something new and different. When
there is nothing left to be said, then there is no reason to create. Luckily, I have a lot to say.
HS: How has the writing process changed, if at all, for you thru the last three books? The promotional
process? Dealing with the fame?
ET: My writing process has always been the same. I write everyday and have become more and more
disciplined with time. The promotional process continues to evolve. Poetry is a non-commercial art.
However, I use very commercial tactics to market my work. It is because of this that people, who are normally
not into poetry, enjoy my work. A combination of my writing style and the way I market my work pull them in
which has helped me build a solid audience. I don’t write about the trees and the sky…I write about brutal
truth and my readers appreciate that. The recognition that comes along with being an artist is part of the
package. My friends or family are always surprised by it. I have gotten recognized in the street, bars, clubs,
etc. It’s always a great feeling when readers come up to me to tell me they enjoy my books.
HS: How have you changed? Are you more approachable, better understood or understand yourself better?
ET: I am stronger than ever. I look back and read poems from my first book and I find it difficult sometimes
because I don’t recognize the person I was. The past is gone and I am ready to move forward. I went from a
young guy who was needy to a guy who needed no one. Then I found a middle ground where I could balance
my extremist personality. I always thought I was approachable. Some people have said otherwise because
of my image. The most common thing is that I don’t look friendly. I get that from my father. He has a very
serious look to him and people always think he is mean but he isn't. He is just a serious person. I definitely
understand myself better as I age. I believe it’s important to understand yourself in order to improve on the
person you are. I like myself better now than when I was younger.
HS: Has writing helped you to better
understand yourself? Any advice for
young Gay Latinos looking to find their
voice/identity?
ET: Absolutely. For me, writing is like
breathing so it’s been part of the
process. Writing helps me release
all my ideas and thoughts. Without
it, I would probably go insane.
Therapy helps too J. The advice I
would give is follow your own path.
Don’t get caught up with negative
people who try to deter you from
following your passion. The most
important thing, if you are an artist, is to
create.
HS: Your work has a certain Carrie Bradshaw
feel to it. Could you see any/all of your writings
taking on a TV or movie format? How?
ET: Thank You. From your mouth to God’s ears.
Yes, definitely. I could see it taking on
either format. My writing is very visual
and I describe real life experiences
that no one wants to admit or
share with people. Expanding it to
either one of those mediums
would expose people to a new
world from an extremely honest
perspective. My vision has always
been to see my creations go
beyond the page and come to
life. I would also like to be
involved in the acting aspect of
those creations. That has always
been a craft that I have been interested in
exploring further as well but I am a writer first.
HS: How, if at all, has your dating life changed with your success & writings? Are guys scared to go out with
you? Are they more attracted because of it?
ET: When FYS was released, I ended a 2 year relationship I was in. After that, I was single for 6 years up until
recently. In the grand scope of things, my dating life seemed to plummet. For a period of time, I wasn't at a
place emotionally where a relationship could survive. During that time, I dated often or I didn't date at all,
made poor choices in men or I chose guys who were unavailable geographically or emotionally. I dated a
guy once who was concerned that I would write about our experience, even though I don’t mention names.
He said that guys think about that when they date me. I have gone out on dates with guys who would ask me
if I was going to write a poem about them. Yes, I dated a lot of ego maniacs- lol. I have been told by some
guys that they were intimidated because their life wasn't where they wanted it to be so they felt they weren't
good enough. If the guy isn’t aware of my work when I first meet him, its usually a better thing. I tend to get
serious with older guys, who are secure with themselves and mature enough to be with me and not so much
with the younger ones. I don’t want to be with anyone who is going where I have already been. Although I
have met some young guys who seemed to have it together and I have been with older guys who were train
wrecks. So it depends on the individual.
Excerpts from Architecture of a Solipsistic Mind
NEW YORK
New York has progressed my vision
Has kept me single
Fighting through an emotional prison
New York
Rushes through my veins
The chaos and the madness
My therapist keeping me sane
Thoughts of breaking free
I stand frozen
New York is not just a city
New York is me
New York
The land where the ring finger feels no embrace
The sadness can be seen on many
Endless partying and premature lines on their face
New York is home
The birth of my art
When I arrived
Two pieces of the puzzle fitting right from the start
It is my prison and my peace
When a guy enters my life
New York rents out my heart on a probationary lease
Concrete doesn’t cushion the falls
Scars represent perseverance
I’m still standing 68 inches tall
Familiar faces have become aged with added weight
Some are six feet under
It was their time to go because God couldn’t wait
New York is the land of the heartless and yearning
With eternal passion ignited
And some no longer burning
New York cries in the spring
Gray skies and water rinsing the pavement of tainted hearts
When the sun rises they will beat
Reset from the end back to start
New York is the land of several soul mates
No one can last with one
Because a better version just stepped up to the plate
Always something new around the corner
Why can’t some men be pleased ?
Instead they seek the sexy loner
New York is the sexual addiction I can’t shake
He is inside of me
Throbbing
I don’t need a break
Several deep breaths and he gets deeper and deeper
New York is inside of me
He whispers into my ear
I am a keeper
He hit my spot
Damn!
He says, I am New York
Take it, I am not going to stop
His energy becomes faster and faster
He grabs my throat
Until he explodes
Euphoric pleasure
He pulls out
I am New York and you aren’t going anywhere
I won’t let you leave
I will help you see
I awake and realize
New York is not just a city
New York is me.
Copyright © 2008 by Elliot Torres. All Rights Reserved.
OSCURO Barcelona, Spain
Te veo
Pero no te veo
Siento tus labios
Bésame con amor
Bésame como si fuera tuyo
La pared me abraza y tú me aguantas
Te veo
Pero no te veo
Siento tus manos en mi pecho
Lamo tu pecho empezando en tu cuello
Bajando
Te quiero conocer en estos momentos
Enséñamé lo que tú sabes, Italia
Te veo
Pero no te veo
Vámonos para la oscuridad
El momento nos lleva hasta quien sabe cuando
Te veo
Pero no te veo
Andamos por las calles de Barcelona
Pero sé que ésta es mi vida en este momento
Soy tuyo
En este momento
En la oscuridad
Pero en la mañana
Te veo
Pero no te veo.
Copyright © 2008 by Elliot Torres. All Rights Reserved
-------------------------------------------------------
ELLIOT TORRES: Architecture of a Solipsistic Mind is available now at
www.BuyBooksOnTheWeb.com and will soon be available on Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.
com and Borders.com.
Also visit www.elliottorres.comfor book signing times & dates.
Copyright © AMBIENTE MAGAZINE. Do not reproduce without citing these sources.
ELLIOT TORRES: Architecture of a Solipsistic Mind
by Herb Sosa
so•lip•sism: ˈsō-ləp-ˌsi-zəm,
noun Latin solus alone + ipse self
1874 : a theory holding that the self can know nothing but its own modifications and that the
self is the only existent thing; also : extreme egocentrism
— so•lip•sist \ˈsō-ləp-sist, noun
— so•lip•sis•tic \ˌsō-ləp-ˈsis-tik, adjective
— so•lip•sis•ti•cal•ly \-ti-k(ə-)lē\ adverb
Born and raised in
Waukegan, Illinois, Elliot
moved to New York City
alone at the age of 17 in
May of 1994. While
attending Pace
University in 1998 he
graduated with a BA in
Communications, which
he developed into a
career in the fashion,
music, television, film,
video game and
magazine industries.
After some time working
as an entertainment
journalist, Torres debuted
his collection of poetry,
Five Years Of Solitary in
2002, which was released
to an enthusiastic
response. It chronicled
his experiences in New
York City as a young, gay
Puerto Rican man from
the age of 17-22.
His next book - Undaunted: A Poetic Journey - is his account of the second phase of his life in New York City,
taking his readers on a journey through his emotional and professional growth from 22 to 27.
His experiences have taken him throughout the U.S., the Caribbean, Mexico,
South America and Europe. Elliot has appeared in various publications such as
QV, XY, Next, Clik the French publication, Baby Boy magazine and Ambiente.
He has performed his poetry and conducted workshops at many colleges and
universities including Brown University, Wheaton College, University of Illinois
Urbana-Champaign and NYU.
Elliot’s third book of poetry, Architecture of a Solipsistic Mind was released Tuesday September 30, 2008 and
continues Torres’ journey at this point in his life, ages 27-31.
Through his writings in Architecture of a Solipsistic Mind, Torres deals with, "my past, face my demons, live in
the moment and expose my reality about being a gay man in New York City."
Elliot and his work has been featured in Ambiente in the past, and today
I revisit with him and find out where he is at in his life today.
HS: What made you want to write a book again? What was left to be said/shared?
ET: When I finished writing Undaunted, I knew there would be a third book and almost felt that I needed to in
order to have a sense of closure for myself. I am already focused on other projects. I’m not saying there will
never be another poetry book because there will but I have been feeling confined by the art form and am ready
to explore and expand on my talent. I handed over my late-teens, 20s and the beginning of my 30s on a plate
for readers to devour. It’s time to take the plate away and hand over something new and different. When
there is nothing left to be said, then there is no reason to create. Luckily, I have a lot to say.
HS: How has the writing process changed, if at all, for you thru the last three books? The promotional
process? Dealing with the fame?
ET: My writing process has always been the same. I write everyday and have become more and more
disciplined with time. The promotional process continues to evolve. Poetry is a non-commercial art.
However, I use very commercial tactics to market my work. It is because of this that people, who are normally
not into poetry, enjoy my work. A combination of my writing style and the way I market my work pull them in
which has helped me build a solid audience. I don’t write about the trees and the sky…I write about brutal
truth and my readers appreciate that. The recognition that comes along with being an artist is part of the
package. My friends or family are always surprised by it. I have gotten recognized in the street, bars, clubs,
etc. It’s always a great feeling when readers come up to me to tell me they enjoy my books.
HS: How have you changed? Are you more approachable, better understood or understand yourself better?
ET: I am stronger than ever. I look back and read poems from my first book and I find it difficult sometimes
because I don’t recognize the person I was. The past is gone and I am ready to move forward. I went from a
young guy who was needy to a guy who needed no one. Then I found a middle ground where I could balance
my extremist personality. I always thought I was approachable. Some people have said otherwise because
of my image. The most common thing is that I don’t look friendly. I get that from my father. He has a very
serious look to him and people always think he is mean but he isn't. He is just a serious person. I definitely
understand myself better as I age. I believe it’s important to understand yourself in order to improve on the
person you are. I like myself better now than when I was younger.
HS: Has writing helped you to better
understand yourself? Any advice for
young Gay Latinos looking to find their
voice/identity?
ET: Absolutely. For me, writing is like
breathing so it’s been part of the
process. Writing helps me release
all my ideas and thoughts. Without
it, I would probably go insane.
Therapy helps too J. The advice I
would give is follow your own path.
Don’t get caught up with negative
people who try to deter you from
following your passion. The most
important thing, if you are an artist, is to
create.
HS: Your work has a certain Carrie Bradshaw
feel to it. Could you see any/all of your writings
taking on a TV or movie format? How?
ET: Thank You. From your mouth to God’s ears.
Yes, definitely. I could see it taking on
either format. My writing is very visual
and I describe real life experiences
that no one wants to admit or
share with people. Expanding it to
either one of those mediums
would expose people to a new
world from an extremely honest
perspective. My vision has always
been to see my creations go
beyond the page and come to
life. I would also like to be
involved in the acting aspect of
those creations. That has always
been a craft that I have been interested in
exploring further as well but I am a writer first.
HS: How, if at all, has your dating life changed with your success & writings? Are guys scared to go out with
you? Are they more attracted because of it?
ET: When FYS was released, I ended a 2 year relationship I was in. After that, I was single for 6 years up until
recently. In the grand scope of things, my dating life seemed to plummet. For a period of time, I wasn't at a
place emotionally where a relationship could survive. During that time, I dated often or I didn't date at all,
made poor choices in men or I chose guys who were unavailable geographically or emotionally. I dated a
guy once who was concerned that I would write about our experience, even though I don’t mention names.
He said that guys think about that when they date me. I have gone out on dates with guys who would ask me
if I was going to write a poem about them. Yes, I dated a lot of ego maniacs- lol. I have been told by some
guys that they were intimidated because their life wasn't where they wanted it to be so they felt they weren't
good enough. If the guy isn’t aware of my work when I first meet him, its usually a better thing. I tend to get
serious with older guys, who are secure with themselves and mature enough to be with me and not so much
with the younger ones. I don’t want to be with anyone who is going where I have already been. Although I
have met some young guys who seemed to have it together and I have been with older guys who were train
wrecks. So it depends on the individual.
Excerpts from Architecture of a Solipsistic Mind
NEW YORK
New York has progressed my vision
Has kept me single
Fighting through an emotional prison
New York
Rushes through my veins
The chaos and the madness
My therapist keeping me sane
Thoughts of breaking free
I stand frozen
New York is not just a city
New York is me
New York
The land where the ring finger feels no embrace
The sadness can be seen on many
Endless partying and premature lines on their face
New York is home
The birth of my art
When I arrived
Two pieces of the puzzle fitting right from the start
It is my prison and my peace
When a guy enters my life
New York rents out my heart on a probationary lease
Concrete doesn’t cushion the falls
Scars represent perseverance
I’m still standing 68 inches tall
Familiar faces have become aged with added weight
Some are six feet under
It was their time to go because God couldn’t wait
New York is the land of the heartless and yearning
With eternal passion ignited
And some no longer burning
New York cries in the spring
Gray skies and water rinsing the pavement of tainted hearts
When the sun rises they will beat
Reset from the end back to start
New York is the land of several soul mates
No one can last with one
Because a better version just stepped up to the plate
Always something new around the corner
Why can’t some men be pleased ?
Instead they seek the sexy loner
New York is the sexual addiction I can’t shake
He is inside of me
Throbbing
I don’t need a break
Several deep breaths and he gets deeper and deeper
New York is inside of me
He whispers into my ear
I am a keeper
He hit my spot
Damn!
He says, I am New York
Take it, I am not going to stop
His energy becomes faster and faster
He grabs my throat
Until he explodes
Euphoric pleasure
He pulls out
I am New York and you aren’t going anywhere
I won’t let you leave
I will help you see
I awake and realize
New York is not just a city
New York is me.
Copyright © 2008 by Elliot Torres. All Rights Reserved.
OSCURO Barcelona, Spain
Te veo
Pero no te veo
Siento tus labios
Bésame con amor
Bésame como si fuera tuyo
La pared me abraza y tú me aguantas
Te veo
Pero no te veo
Siento tus manos en mi pecho
Lamo tu pecho empezando en tu cuello
Bajando
Te quiero conocer en estos momentos
Enséñamé lo que tú sabes, Italia
Te veo
Pero no te veo
Vámonos para la oscuridad
El momento nos lleva hasta quien sabe cuando
Te veo
Pero no te veo
Andamos por las calles de Barcelona
Pero sé que ésta es mi vida en este momento
Soy tuyo
En este momento
En la oscuridad
Pero en la mañana
Te veo
Pero no te veo.
Copyright © 2008 by Elliot Torres. All Rights Reserved
-------------------------------------------------------
ELLIOT TORRES: Architecture of a Solipsistic Mind is available now at
www.BuyBooksOnTheWeb.com and will soon be available on Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.
com and Borders.com.
Also visit www.elliottorres.comfor book signing times & dates.
Copyright © AMBIENTE MAGAZINE. Do not reproduce without citing these sources.
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