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June 7-11, 2010
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Top 10 Tips for Writing a Successful Personal Ad
I've been around the block so you don't have to
by Angela von Aschwege

1.  Keep it short
You have an interesting life story.  But women who browse the personal ads behind
their boss's back aren't looking to read a novel.  Keep your "about me" section to a
small paragraph.

2.  Don't talk about your cats
But they are so cute and cuddly and furry and...no.  Don't do it.  Women are looking to
date you, not your animals.  You might be in love with your hairy pal, but stating that
"Snowball is my best friend" is a big turn off.

3. Have a good picture
Use a current picture that clearly displays who you really are.  Don't just show your
boobs or muscly arms, people want to see your pretty face.  If you use blurry pictures or
overdo it on Photoshop, women are going to think you are hiding something.

4.  Don't use a stupid title or user name
Next to your picture, a title and/or user name is the first thing they will see while
glancing over hundreds of prospects.  You could be the hottest dyke on the planet but if
you write "sexybeast4u", "Iheartrainbows", or "LesboLovin" they will roll their eyes and
move on.
5.  Get offline
Some dating sites let users
know when you are online.  If
they notice you are online 24
hours a day, they'll assume you
are desperate.

6.  Don't respond right
If you reply within 3.5 seconds of
their response to your ad, it's a
clear sign that you have nothing
better to do with your time.  The
three day waiting period for calls
doesn't apply, but wait a few
hours at least.

7.  Don't talk about sex
Try to limit your creep factor.  
You may be great in the sack
and have a high sexual appetite,
but don't post it for the lesbian
world to see.  98% of the
women you meet also think they
are pretty good in bed.  You don't
want to compete with them...you
WANT them.

8.  Don't make an endless list of dislikes
It screams high maintenance.  List basic ones like smoking or drinking habits but
don't be negative about it.  Say "Prefer nonsmokers" instead of "Smokers make me
sick, blah ugh gross!!"  Being too picky about height, weight, age, occupation, etc.
on your written profile is also a turn off.  Even when women meet your preference
for  bisexuals who are light blondes,  5'7 to 5'8 in height , and 125 to 130.5 pounds,
they won't reply because they'll think you're an ass.  If someone doesn't meet your
particular standards, you don't have to answer.

9. Don't be too anything
Don't be too clever, too smart, too funny, etc.  Your traits are good in moderation and
you don't want to sound like you are trying too hard.

10.  Don't talk about past relationships
Don't even hint at it.  She broke your heart, but they don't care to read about it.  
They've had their heart broken too. Going on and on about how horrible your last
partner treated you  gives the impression that you are still hung up.  Talk about your
ex only when asked.

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